So Tay and I intentionally made a list of things that bring us joy, like: playing games, going on walks, jumping in the ocean, making meals together, collecting sea glass, bird watching, sending funny pictures, etc. If the joy-gap becomes too large, then our marriage can definitely feel it and will ultimately suffer.
Because in marriage, we fall into joy before falling in love! In other words, we need to make sure we have fun together and do something life-giving often enough that we can quickly remember the last time we felt joy with one another. Some of our mentors gathered a group of married couples and led us through the book, “The 4 Habits of a Joy-Filled Marriage,” where they talk about contending to keep the joy-gap (the amount of time between our moments of shared joy) small in marriage. We noticed we weren’t laughing as much and we were doing life shoulder-to-shoulder, rather than face-to-face. When our relationship became too work/school-centered or ministry-centered, we started to notice we weren’t having as much fun anymore and our relationship started to taste kind of bland, in a sense. Some Hard-Earned Lessons I’ve Learned So Far in Marriage Keep the Joy-Gap Small (At the very bottom I share some of our favorite resources that have carried us through the trenches) So, here are some things that I didn’t really know about when we first got married…things that have taken several years and many tears to learn, and things I’m still very much walking out, too. We have gone hard after bringing health into our marriage, enduring trials, learning to live in the tension of the “not yets” in our lives, and, honestly, we are thriving now. Though we’ve almost reached 6 years together, we are very much still learning and growing and evolving as a couple in the gracious hands of our Jesus.īut I am so excited to be able to share some of the invaluable lessons that we have learned in our marriage. Taylor and I got married in 2016 in the mountains of California and we have had several steep highs and deep lows together ever since.
Hey friends! Let’s talk about marriage! For years I thought I would never get married because I was hurt and terrified, but I am so glad my heart got some healing and I was able to open it up again.
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